It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
True strength comes from lack of pants
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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