I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize