I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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