dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
