I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
