ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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