in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
