No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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