Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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