so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
