im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
