I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
