He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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