Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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