We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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