My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize