my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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