All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
