i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
