i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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