careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
