Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
