she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
