a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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