Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
