operation harelip BJ is a go
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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