you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I can't put those talents on a resume
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
