Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
