do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
