The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
