one might say we're banned from that church
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
