It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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