She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
