she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
