proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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