Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
