I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
operation have a gay friend backfired
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
