Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
