i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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