You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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