he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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