See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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