just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
