I hate your face
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
