There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
