dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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