Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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