is your mom at the bar?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
