Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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