Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
