So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
