Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
