i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
