I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
