you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
