All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
