I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
