Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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