she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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