a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
