U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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